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Joke of the Day

"Boy the things I did to that tirimisu were obscene! It was sort of embarrassing when they asked me to go back to my own table though."

"It must be hard to send Barack Obama a Thank You card without sounding sarcastic."

"If two vegetarians are fighting, is it still considered beef?"

"Trump and Cruz are fighting over whose dick is bigger and whose spouse is a bigger whore. Two more contests Hillary will win."

"I can't diet because it would devastate the local fast food economy, and frankly, I just don't think I could live with that kind of guilt."

"Why did we use guns in world war 2 against the Germans? We could've used Frebreze, it kills 99.99% of germs anyways."

"What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin"

"Black eye Tom: ""Hey buddy, howya do...whoa! who gave you that black eye? Sam: ""My wife"" Tom: ""I thought she was out of town for the weekend."" Sam: ""So did I."""

"I'm thinking about buying a Volkswagen Beetle just so I can be the reason why people keep getting punched."

"Would you like to hear a german joke? Tut mir leid so ein Ding existiert nicht Edit 1: Grammar"