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Joke of the Day
"Parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet :("
Next Joke
"I call my dick Little Ceasers. It's hot and ready but it tastes like shit."
"Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck !"
"If life gives you melons... you're probably dyslexic."
"{at fancy restaurant} Waiter: *pulls out chair* Me: ""Don't make this weird, dude."""
"Apparently I'm ""an insensitive arsehole"" for referring to my girlfriend's allergic reaction to a box of chocolates (and subsequent fit) as a ""truffle shuffle""..."
"Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back."
"What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast? Fruity Plebbles."
"Do you like Dragons? Cause I'm gunna be dragon these balls across your face!"
"Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub (2) I'm banned from Subway"