191969

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that scientists recently discovered a new state of matter? Now there are four! Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives."

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"Walk in closets Walk-In Closet Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents? Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet."
"I need some sugar. Not the stupid kind that gives you mono, but the good kind that gives you diabetes."
"To my future kids: I apologize for the lack of college funds... Blame mom, she INSISTED on organic produce from Whole Foods."
"If your ad has one black person, one white person, one brown person & one Asian person in it, I will not buy your product."
"Stephen Hawking calculates the properties of the universe from a wheelchair and I'm googling how to get paid without leaving my house"
"Wife was feeling kinky last night so she got naked and I tied her to the headboard, then me and my buddy ordered pizza and played X-Box."
"Why is Santa so Jolly? Cause he knows where all the bad girls live."
"What's the filthiest joke you know? Here's mine How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's cock tastes of blood."
"I was having sex with a woman when her husband came early. Premature ejaculation is killing our sex life."