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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new Fairy BDSM book? Fifty Shades of Fae."

"I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet."

"There are no limits to my perfection a monkey was thinking while looking at a human."

"My boss dropped a pen, bent to pick it up, my b-ball instincts took over, I slapped his ass, said 'nice hustle' & now I need a new job."

"ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships"

"Coffee is nature's way of saying ""Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!"""

"Corned beef and potatoes running aimlessly about on the playground. -Hash Tag"

"The ratio of guys to girls in my friend group Is undefined!"

"Time zones are crazy On new years eve some parts of the world are in 2017, some are in 2016, and a large portion of the U.S. is still stuck in 1940."

"The Best Day Ever by Trudy Light"