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Joke of the Day

"I hate when Doctors asks questions like . . . ""Are you sexually active?"" Depends on what you mean by ""active"". There are plenty of ""active"" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years."

"What would happen if pigs went on strike? They'd form pigget lines."

"If I ever had a heart transplant I would want my ex's because it's never been used"

"Abstinence-only education... Was the first time I got screwed."

"People setting up GoFundMe's because they can't afford a TV... Don't you know that's what lay-a-way is for?"

"I've never met a weekend that I didn't like."

"Can a widow's husband marry her daughter? No,dead people don't marry."

"I can't figure out if I only date girls with self esteem issues because I'm ugly or because we have something in common"

"What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? Polly unsaturated!"

"The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is ""We're going for a break now, we'll be back later"""