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Joke of the Day
"The Philadelphia eagles Punchline in title."
Next Joke
"I went to the zoo to see some wild animals, however they had only one animal It was a shitzu."
"Please don't drink and drive. Last night I put my hand out of the car to indicate i was turning right and some moron pulled the the bottle out of my hand"
"A nuclear physicist is drinking at Oktoberfest... He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says, ""Ein Stein""."
"*A demon tries to posses my soul while I sleep but can't because he's choking on all of the axe body spray I'm wearing*"
"I really don't have much of an opinion on alcoholic beverages during the holidays... You could say I'm pretty eggnogstic."
"I wish snacks could talk so they could verify my whereabouts from 1 am to 3 am this morning."
"Jazz is in my blood You could say I've got deep vein trombonses."
"Im gonna tell my daughter to lay off the liquor, cause I love her! (...and I dont want her to mess up her kidneys before I need one)"
"My new year's resolution is to stop using spray deodorant. Roll on 2015!"