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Joke of the Day

"Hate the political process, not the politicians. Nah, who the f*#k am I kidding? Hate those politicians!"

"My local cinema was broken into last night and goods worth 15,000 stolen: a packet of popcorn and a medium Coke."

"Helium Walks into a bar and orders a beer the bartender says sorry we don,t server noble gases here He Doesnt React"

"People say size doesn't matter... But I'd like her better if she didn't have a dick at all."

"Had a near death experience last night A cop pulled me over."

"Him ""You run like a gazelle."" Me ""I'm graceful?"" Him ""No. You'd be easy prey for a mountain lion."""

"A Chick, A 1% and A Black Guy walk into a Bar and ask: ""What time is the next debate?"""

"Bloody Foreigner, coming over here, wanting to know what love is."

"If a dog has puppies in a public place, can they be arrested for littering?"

"My neighbor started mowing his yard at 6am so I opened all my windows and vacuumed because I don't understand how revenge works."