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Joke of the Day
"You don't need a parachute to skydive... You need a parachute to skydive twice."
Next Joke
"Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: ""We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."""
"Some people are very down to earth... You know, midgets."
"Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole... ...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back."
"Well, I was going to make a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy..."
"Who did the chickens vote for president? Baraaaaaak Obama"
"What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries? A one trip pony :D"
"[Riot] ""WHAT DO WE WANT"" *far in the back* PIZZA ROLLS ""No Jim we want freedom"" ""WHAT DO WE WANT"" PIZZA ROLLS ""JIM"" But I'm hungry :("
"Stop pissing me off or I'll marry you"
"""I'll sleep when I'm Ned!"" -Exhausted pre-op who plans to go by Ned after the surgery"