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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a cat go ""woof""? Douse it in gasoline and toss it in a fire."
Next Joke
"[First date] Me: So, I've been married for 12 years - Him: You're married?? Me: Is that a problem?"
"They should make a gym for cops, called ""Stop Resisting""."
"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't budget."
"If we allowed all banned substances - just think about how exciting sports would be"
"Don't tell me about how you ""dressed up"" your baby for a special occasion. If you're wearing something you can shit in you aren't dressed up"
"I'm a completely chill dude. But you try to cook my baby son in the pizza oven you built in your backyard... we're gonna have problems."
"Calculating the trajectory of an airborne booger is snot rocket science"
"Blue Elephant How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? Choke it until it becomes blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun."
"Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills."