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Joke of the Day

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? 3: a left ear, a right ear and a final frontier. (Courtesy of my dad)"

"So a foreign exchange student asks me: ""Is the word ""ee-ther"" or ""eye-ther?"" I told them it was either."

"Today is my mom's birthday or as she calls it, Cinco de Seis, because someone taught her just enough Spanish to be annoying."

"Trying to get this hot girl at the bar jealous, so I'm slow dancing & making out with a potted plant. It's working, she's been staring at me"

"The Energizer Bunny died last night... ...of sexual exhaustion. Someone put in his batteries the wrong way and he just kept coming and coming and coming..."

"My girlfriend sometimes complains about how painful her period cramps are.... I told her to shut up, that's her fault for being a woman"

"Where do nazis go on vacation? The holocoast."

"An unemployed engineer opens a clinic... He soon goes out of business, since the field is over saturated due to all the unemployed engineers opening clinics recently."

"A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair."

"Signs And Notices"