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Joke of the Day

"Today is my mom's birthday or as she calls it, Cinco de Seis, because someone taught her just enough Spanish to be annoying."

"I borrowed money from a pessimist because he doesn't expect me to pay him back"

"My jokes are like onions... They're layered. And because if you dissect them I'll cry."

"Q: Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? A: Because she had no guts!"

"Harry Potter joke Q. Why can't Snape teach Herbology? A. He can't keep the lilies alive."

"Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair."

"If I lived in Gotham City I'd always be hinting I was Batman to get freebies. ""I'll get the bat-check. I mean regular check. Bat-thanks."""

"Two fish are in a tank One says to the other i'll man the guns you drive"

"What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple? Two Wongs don't make a white"

"I spent 2 years in rehab for my Phil Collins addiction. I did it against all odds. Just take a look at me now."