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Joke of the Day
"Don't say ""tits."" It's crass and disrespectful. Instead, say ""lady tits."""
Next Joke
"I was playing snooker with my mate, Dave, down the pub last night. We finished setting the table up and he said to me, ""do you wanna break?"" ""We've haven't even started yet, you lazy cunt!"""
"How was copper wire invented? 2 Jews bent down to pick up the same penny."
"So I took some acid and ate an entire box of Fiber bars. I've been seeing shit for days."
"[first date at a chinese restaurant] ""So are you more of a dog or a cat person?"" *reading menu* I was thinking orange chicken but you do you"
"Cop: Will I find any drugs in your car? Me: I don't know but if you do, I'm not sharing."
"The cast of ""Game of Thrones"" had a very special visitor Queen Elizabeth. A lot of the Royals on ""Game of Thrones"" get offed. It leads me to believe this visit was arranged by Prince Charles."
"'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the mall There were multiple reports of trampling injuries."
"I'm not making any resolutions this year because I'm still working on the ones from 2003."
"I found this place online that sells authentic moon rocks. The rocks themselves are really cheap, but the shipping is a bitch."