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Joke of the Day

"Can't wait till bin Laden slips up and checks-in on Foursquare."

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop?"

"What did one poop say to the other poop? You smell"

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" Christopher Walken. ""Christopher Walken who?"" Christopher Walken and then walk out after his weird cameo."

"My sister was in love with a Mexican guy. She wanted him to marry her but he went home to Mexico... ... I guess he's the Juan that got away."

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!"

"What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? We will get around to it sooner or later."

"[pick-up line] Your like perfect ionizing energy to my electrons ... You really make me excited"

"Me: if u kill a murderer the number of murderers in the world doesn't change Her: yeah... anyway your total will be $8.49 at the 2nd window"