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Joke of the Day

"im leavin the united states now that trump is president i am packing my bags and moving to alaska i don't wanna live in this country anymore"

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"I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs"
"TSA agents might have to arrest me if... They felt deez guns *flex*"
"Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now"
"Why does Bruce Willis live in America and watch porn? Because he wants to live free and die hard"
"And the bartender says ""Sorry we don't serve time travelers here."" So two time travelers walk into a bar."
"I tried changing my Facebook profile to the tricolour French flag.... but I preferred the traditional All White French Flag"
"How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank? The rear-view mirrors"
"The hay in baby Jesus's manger came from Christian Bales."
"[Evan]: This new hair product is the best [Brad]: Yeah. Check out Jack still using mousse [Jack]: *with Bullwinkle on his head* Shut up guys"