100965

Joke of the Day

"im leavin the united states now that trump is president i am packing my bags and moving to alaska i don't wanna live in this country anymore"

"Two rednecks are sitting on a porch... ...watching a dog licking itself. One redneck says to the other, ""Boy, don't you wish you could do that?"" The other replies, ""That dog'd bite yooouuu!"""

"I was the second person on the moon. Neil Before me!"

"What did one Jersey girl's leg say to the other? Nothing - they've never met."

"If laughter was the best medicine... Your face would cure the world!"

"I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet"

"Why do Republicans use rulers? They want everything to be straight."

"How are bad dubstep and constipation similar? Both leave you waiting for the drop."

"How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant? Run around until you get pooped out"

"I don't have to be attractive. I am an asshole. Women swarm to me."