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Joke of the Day
"Cop: Have you been drinking? Me: *sips beer Cop: That was stupid. Me: So was your question."
Next Joke
"ME: Do we have Bacon Bits? WIFE: Fridge. Why? ME: *filling pockets* No reason *dog park* PERSON: Sorry. He's normally behaved ME: No prob"
"Obviously chocolate was created for women It's called HERshey, not HISshey"
"Me: *Sweeping* Wife: Excuse me Me: *Slams broom on floor* YOU SHALL NOT PASS Wife: ... Me: That's from lord of Wife: MOVE! Me: *Moves*"
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"Why did Tim Tebow's mom protest against the Russian soup truck? It contained a borscht ton."
"What's wrong with a broken alphabetizer? It's out of order."
"30 cows, 28 chicken. how many didn't? 10"
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes you just need a really big fishing rod."
"Of course he's going to get re-elected, because once you go Black..."