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Joke of the Day

"What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book? Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama."

"I do most of my lying when I'm trying to get off the phone."

"""Why did Sally fall off the swings?"" ""Because she has no arms."" ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally. Because she has no arms. """

"I saw a black guy riding a bike... At first I thought it was mine, then I realized mine is at home, washing the dishes."

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example, Ben is in a hurry. Ben is in a coma."

"This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister"

"I used to wonder how the Titanic could go full steam into an area known for icebergs. Now that I work in an office the answer is obvious."

"How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and three to make a t-shirt about it."

"I always sleep with a bed under my pillow, just in case"

"What is slimy and wobbly tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish."