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Joke of the Day

"*walks outside* Its real quiet.. Almost too quiet. *looks around* *lights BBQ* *1000 Dads emerge from nowhere giving generic BBQ advice*"

"Answering your cell when you don't recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker."

"My momma always said life is like a load of laundry. Sometimes you gotta separate the colors from the whites."

"I love Halloween. Its the only time I can wear my KKK outfit and get away with it."

"[hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital"

"What do you call 4 dicks tied together? An erectangle."

"My friend's kid just turned 7 and he's an amazing child and she loves him. To be blown away by more original content, please see Facebook"

"Why are homosexuals so well dressed? Because they didn't just spend all that time in the closet doing nothing..."

"The reason I have only broken 9 out of the 10 Commandments... ...is because I would have to be one sick and twisted individual to use the Lord's name in vain!"

"Q: How can you tell someone is a true music lover? A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole."