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Joke of the Day

"The reason I have only broken 9 out of the 10 Commandments... ...is because I would have to be one sick and twisted individual to use the Lord's name in vain!"

"A man went to the store buy condoms The cashier asked him, ""Do you want a bag?"" He replied, ""No thanks, she's not that ugly."""

"How do you know if you're a bogan? You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids."

"Two snakes meet in the jungle... Two snakes meet in the jungle. One asks the other: ""Are we poisonous?? "" The other says: ""Why do you ask?"" The first replys: ""I just bit my tongue..."""

"How is Bud Light like sex on the beach? they're both fucking close to water"

"As I've been teaching myself how to use GIS again, I've been listening to a lot of Eminem. And I'm beginning to feel just like a map god, map god."

"Why are gold fish orange ? The water makes them rusty !"

"What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. sorry."

"My girlfriend is quite pessimistic about our sex life, but I'm a vagina half full kind of guy."

"If farmer A sells apples and farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine."