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Joke of the Day
"Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting but no gorillas were shot on my watch."
Next Joke
"Got diagnosed with Kyohosis The doctor diagnosed me with kyphosis. 85 degree curvature. I had my suspicions for a while, but the diagnosis proved to me that it wasn't just a hunch."
"War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I'm busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord."
"I usually tell self-deprecating jokes But I'm not very good at it"
"Girls can be so ungrateful, I made her breakfast in bed, & instead of saying ""Thank You"", she's all like ""How did you get into my house!"""
"I have a monster under my bed. I sleep on the top of a bunk bed."
"[Shopping with teen son] *sees hot girl* *waits until she gets close* *grabs box of adult diapers* ""How are you doing on Depends bud?"""
"watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome"
"Me and my recliner... We go way back."
"Bernie Sanders said it's time for him to cut the BS His new name is Ernie Anders"