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Joke of the Day
"Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting but no gorillas were shot on my watch."
Next Joke
"Ethiopian Cuisine... is a bit bland. It tastes like nothing."
"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Amnesia. The librarian replies, ""fuck off, you'll forget to bring it back"" To which the man replies, ""bring what back?"""
"What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back"
"Donald Trump had a great inauguration speech It sounds like he Putin a lot of practice"
"My girlfriend and I used to like to pretend she was Khaleesi and I was Drogo Until she called me ""Crack of her Moon"""
"If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?"
"So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?"
"It's not that I don't know how to juggle... I just don't have the balls to do it."
"I'm surprised ABC hasn't resolved the Healthcare Crisis with a new reality show. Extreme Makeover: Universal Healthcare Edition."