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Joke of the Day

"""I see your face and raise you a boner."" - a fun way for a poker player to tell his girlfriend she's attractive"

"A boy is asking santa for a heavy sweater for christmas present so santa send him a sumo wrestler"

"I also like my women how I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."

"NASA launches bovines into space It was the herd shot round the world!"

"I'm doing Bikram yoga today. By that I mean I'm in the back seat of a hot car trying to contort myself enough to reach the ignition."

"What does a priest get when he wants pussy? Nun"

"I used to play Rock-Paper-Scissors professionally. I made money hand over fist."

"When I find myself saying something stupid, I finish by saying ""in this economy"" because that resonates with people in this economy."

"I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands. What's not to like?"

"I saw a sign that said ""watch for children"" and I thought, ""That sounds like a fair trade."""