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Joke of the Day

"""I see your face and raise you a boner."" - a fun way for a poker player to tell his girlfriend she's attractive"

"I read in the news today that a man in Los Angeles was killed when he got caught up in a turf war. I wonder if he was mowed down?"

"Lif is too short."

"I hate it when I go to the supermarket and the employees there comment on my groceries. Always with the ""Hey, sir, you have to pay for those!"" Every damn time."

"I recently bought a corset to spice up my sex life. Once I've learned how to breathe in the damn thing I'll tell you how it worked out."

"Frodo and Sam are going to start a band... Called; Imagine Baggins"

"How often do I tell chemistry jokes. Periodically"

"If acne on your back is ""back-ne""... Then what is acne on your knee called?"

"Discipline in the Home by Wilma Child-Begood"

"How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots"