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Joke of the Day

"*Job interview* ""Im gonna need you to pee in this cup"" *hands boss full cup* ""Let's start the interview"" *boss just sips it the whole time*"

"2 fish were in a tank, what did one of them say to the other? How do I drive this thing?"

"Watched the movie Gravity tonight. Didn't see as much gravity as I expected. Two thumbs down based on that."

"Social life? You mean my phone?"

"Steve was walking down the street, when he came across a police officer and was promptly arrested for indecent exposure"

"What's the definition of a will? Come on you guys, it's a dead giveaway!"

"If Hillary is elected..... will she only make 70% of what Obama makes?"

"I once went to a Japanese Tea ceremony... It was steeped in tradition."

"[first date] HER: I like a man who can show his true feelings. ME: *leans in close* I don't care what you like."

"Haters gonna hate, potaters gonna potate."