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Joke of the Day
"Confucius say... He who farts at church, sits in his own pew."
Next Joke
"Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat."
"The woman next to me smells SO good, is it weird if I'm like ""What perfume is that, I will literally stop robbing this bank if you tell me""?"
"So won't Surreal Slim Shady please stand up, please stand dOwN, please RIDE A TRICYCLE THROUGH A DENTISTS WAITING ROOM DRESSED AS A PENGUIN"
"What do you call 4 dicks tied together? An erectangle."
"Why are turn signals great workers? When they get tired and burn out, they work twice as hard."
"Hillary Clinton... [DELETED]"
"I came very close to death last night. I had a wank in a graveyard."
"Leia: You owe child support. Han: What? I'm in hyperspace. Leia: You're standing right here Han: *makes hyperdrive noises with his mouth*"
"If you're about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy."