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Joke of the Day

"Right on, adults who are excited for Halloween. I too get excited about things meant for kids. Last week I lost my shit because I saw a frog"

"What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends? There's not mushroom in here"

"I don't play fantasy football, but I do play fantasy friendship. This week I'm starting Taylor Swift and Conan O'Brien."

"What are Mitt Romney's favorite shoes? Flip flops"

"ME: so what do you do GUY: I'm an oral surgeon ME: *imagining him doing heart surgery with just his mouth* wow I bet you're a helluva kisser"

"I don't like anti jokes... I like uncle jokes"

"What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear."

"What was Camelot ? A place where people parked their camels !"

"In Canada alcoholics go to EhEh meetings."

"Girls call me a wizard Because it's magic what I do with 3 inches."