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Joke of the Day

"Originally I didn't like having a beard but then it grew on me."

"And then the doctor says... Now, what did I do with my pen?"

"Thanks for being the shoulder to put my head on.. Though being a conjoined twin does have its cons."

"Heckling I am looking for some heckling like jokes to yell out during soccer games. Any ideas?"

"I just realized Alaska has some really weird city names Did Juneau that?"

"What have I got in my hands? A double decker bus! You looked!"

"Sorry I threw firewood at you and yelled ""shoo"", but with the amount of eye liner you wear, you resemble the raccoons that raided my cooler."

"In case you think you have the laziest cat in the world, my cat has had a turd half-in/half-out her butt hole all afternoon."

"""I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE,"" I scream, as a sudden gust of wind blows the spider I threw outside onto my face."

"Eleven: We're not allowed to wear spaghetti straps at school. The straps must be at least 2 inches wide. Six: Oh yeah, lasagna straps."