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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix Viagra with Disney World? Kicked out."

"Honestly sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don't have any homework."

"I can finally set my tivo to record ""the biggest loser""... ...kept trying to record the jets game"

"TWILIGHT: Taking the N' out of ""Vampire Fangs"", since 2007!"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves.... Free!"

"The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about."

"My mom asks if I could help her bake bread this Christmas. She kneads me."

"Are we done? Can we go? -A memoir."

"A robot walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey, we don't serve robots!"" Robot says, ""Oh, but someday you will."""

"I turned my phone onto ""Airplane mode"" and threw it up into the air... Worst transformer ever"