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Joke of the Day

"My mom asks if I could help her bake bread this Christmas. She kneads me."

"I visited my doctor last week, and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why, because surely it's not dangerous. He said it was distracting him."

"Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, ""I forgot to feed the dogs,"" and leaves."

"Toy Story 5: Jason Statham must deliver the last iPad to Uganda, in a prius, and he has to drift the entire trip or the car will explode"

"the latest news from the boston bombing authorities think it was race related."

"A lady never reveals her penis"

"Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker ""Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."""

"Why was the man suspicous about the tree? I dunno, it seemed a bit shady."

"DON'T QUESTION YOUR DOCTOR A man went to see his doctor. ""You need to stop masturbating,"" the doctor told him. The man asked, ""Why?"" The doctor replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"A young boy goes to his father in Russia The boy asks ""Papa, could I please have 5 rubles"" Papa is surprised and asks ""20 rubles? Why do you need 50 rubles?"""