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Joke of the Day

"This October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays all in one month. It happens only once in 823 years. waw."

"So Snookie is pregnant 10 to 1 odds all the baby's pictures have the duck face...."

"[tortoise arguing with his gf] ""FINE IM LEAVING"" FINE [6 minutes later] are you going or not? ""THIS IS AS FAST AS I CAN GO KAREN"""

"Before snapping your neck, Chuck Norris will tell you the best shampoo you should have used."

"I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel... I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens."

"What's the best part about dating a homeless chick ? You can drop her off anywhere"

"What did Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both had curds in their whey."

"*Dorothy pummells Glenda with a ruby slipper DAFUQ YOU MEAN I HAD THE POWER TO GO HOME ALL ALONG?!! YOU SENT A MINOR TO MURDER A WITCH!!??"

"I got so drunk the other night that I lost my glasses. The rest is a blur."

"Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?"