97786

Joke of the Day

"Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?"

"I didn't sleep very good last night... So I put some Monster Energy drink in my coffee this morning. I got halfway to work before before I realised I forgot my car."

"What do you call a man who makes fart scented candles? Incense-itive"

"[30 Days of Christmas Jokes] Why was Santa's little helper sad? Because he had low ELFesteem"

"Where did Suzie go after the bombing? Everywhere"

"What do you call a drunk elf? Legless"

"Kids today are too obsessed with their phones to care about the ""free candy"" on my van. *crosses off ""candy"" and writes ""wi-fi"""

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye... but I dumped her because she kept seeing people on the side."

"Trampoline Joke Do you know they used to be called Jumpolines before your mom got on it?"

"Fireman: Is anyone else inside the house? Me: Uh yes..my son is trapped in my room he- [fireman charges into blaze] ..HE LOOKS LIKE AN XBOX"