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Joke of the Day
"Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck."
Next Joke
"*walks out of prison, a free man. *guards shouting from gate ""From! At! For! With!"" What? ""Oh, we always end sentences with a preposition"""
"*points to refrigerator* That makes things cold *points to stove* That makes things hot *points to self* That makes things awkward"
"How do you count cows? You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want."
"The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago."
"Whats the difference between a man and a government bond? The bond matures."
"Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today's class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you're here now, you failed."
"I'm gonna vote for Trump at elections... Cuz I a'int ever seen a president assassinated"
"My Girlfriend is doing majors in Physics Yesterday she texted me she needs time and distance. I dont even know why she wants to calculate the velocity"
"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper"