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Joke of the Day

"*points to refrigerator* That makes things cold *points to stove* That makes things hot *points to self* That makes things awkward"

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"Next week I'm gonna have an MRI scan. I'll finally find out if I have claustrophobia."
"What's black and white and red all over? Police brutality."
"I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie"
"How many Will Ferrell's does it take to change a light bulb? One, AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!"
"Priest and a Rabbi ... A Priest and a Rabbi are walking by a school yard, the Priest says to the Rabbi, ""I'd sure like to fuck those kids!"" the Rabbi replies ""Out of what?"""
"Gunfire reported at track and field event They said it was race related"
"*eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!"
"wise man jokes?"
"Capitalization... It's the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
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