190500

Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a man and a government bond? The bond matures."

"A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve food here."""

"I like my beers how I like my NBA players with hops."

"""I finally caught up with my son."" ""That's good. Progress. How did it go?"" ""Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him."" - Vader & therapist"

"How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone? You get a tizzy signal!"

"What is censorship? [removed]"

"My brother recently got married To celebrate, my mother decided to pull out a couple bottles from my late father's homemade alcohol collection. That way he could be there in spirits"

"College graduates, did you know there are people that went to Princeton that can't find a job? And you just went to a normal shitty school."

"What does oral sex and being in the mafia have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"- Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer? - Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with ""Please wait while your computer shuts down""..."