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Joke of the Day

"[first day of work as a 911 operator] ""Hello, 911"" Hi someone's trying to break into my house ""holy shit call 911"""

"Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit!"

"I love my 6-pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat."

"There's a band called 1023mb They haven't had any gigs yet."

"What do you call it when you use your debit card to pay to have sex with a MtF illegal immigrant Paperless trans action"

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? because they're ugly, and they smell bad [and hate jokes](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d2gmw/why_do_girls_wear_makeup_and_perfume/)"

"Did you hear the one about the zombie telemarketer? They say he was a dead ringer."

"My friend's kid just turned 7 and he's an amazing child and she loves him. To be blown away by more original content, please see Facebook"

"Why do you bury lawyers 20 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people"

"Dick Van Dyke's real name.. Penis Van Lesbian"