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Joke of the Day

"There's a band called 1023mb They haven't had any gigs yet."

"Lost My Bitcoins Last Week been trying to track them down ever since."

"Two snares and a cymbal falls off a cliff BADUMTSSSS"

"Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?"

"My sexual desires have been getting out of control... But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I knew I'd hit rock bottom."

"I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid."

"What does a suicidal multiple personality say every morning? If I don't kill myself soon, I will!"

"I think I have procrastination disease. I'll go to the doctor later."

"[having sex] Her: HARDER! ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers? Her: 44&66 HARDER!"

"I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies"