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Joke of the Day

"Why do black people smell bad? So blind people can hate them too"

"[first date] HER: So do you prefer cats or dogs? ME: *scanning the menu* I don't even see them on here. What page are you on?"

"pizza is my favorite winter activity"

"I'm so proud of my self, I decided I'm going to stop procrastinating and do something with my life! Starting tomorrow..."

"The best stories ever told always end with the words""...and then I got the hell out of there."""

"what do you get when you cross an octopus with a human? thrown in jail for public indecency and banned from the aquarium for life."

"I put the ""fun"" in dysfunctional. "

"If you're ever feeling down about yourself, head to your local GameStop and ask the workers how they feel about dragons."

"Check up time. I've just been for my 6 month check up and everything seem to be going well until he slipped his finger in to check my prostate. I will not be using that dental practise again."

"Had pumpkin flavored coffee this morning and immediately signed up for a Zumba class and kidnapped 2 kids and drove them to a soccer field"