227383

Joke of the Day

"One day a boy was answering all the questions right in class.... Girl: Wow, what a fucking nerd Teacher: Be nice, he might be your boss one day Boy: Nah, I don't ever plan on being a pimp"

"What did the tailpipe say to the muffler? I'm exhausted. What did the muffler say back? ^mmmmbfmbm"

"A proctologist quit his job.. He was tired of being the butt of the joke."

"It's a shame that most things aren't pies. More things should be pies."

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team? The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts."

"Similarity between a feminist and a gun? They are both loud when triggered."

"What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to? Prostate"

"I hired a personal trainer and my first 2 hour-long sessions were just him teaching me how to properly cut the sleeves off my t-shirts"

"The scene in lady and the tramp but as our lips meet I carry on sucking. You feel the pasta travel back up your throat. My pasta My. Pasta"

"*requests Uber* *climbs in backseat* Uber driver: ""Where to?"" Me: ""oh, nowhere. I just don't like to change my diaper in the street."""