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Joke of the Day
"What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan? They're used to disappointment."
Next Joke
"I always like to tell fart jokes about myself I call it self defecating humour"
"FYI fellas: if u wake up with some chick and u can't remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They'll write her name on the cup for ya!"
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day..."
"Being Mute. Being mute means never having to say you're sorry."
"I had to stop eating alphabet soup. I kept developing a vowel blockage."
"Snoring comes easily to me. In fact, I can do it in my sleep."
"[courtroom] Timothy: I was not involved Victor: Nor was I Lawyer: You could say it was a Vic-, Tim-less cri- Judge: You're all going to jail"
"What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz? The Devil has standards."
"What's the quietest element? A no-bell gas. Especially when the ringing noises Are-gon."