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Joke of the Day

"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you can even see it."

"What's the difference between you and a naked ringneck? One's a plucked pheasant, and I don't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"how are bi planes different from regular planes? a lot of them have a wide open cockpit."

"viscoelasticity is a bit creepy"

"[1st date] DATE: When I'm with a handsome man I get all nervous & involuntarily start speaking French ME [leans across] Oh really? DATE: Yes"

"What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair? I can't stand being in this"

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella with him everywhere? Fa Drizzle"

"A guy walks into a burn ward and says ""Hey, you with the face!"""

"Julian Assange became a role model for hackers worldwide by crashing at a friend's place indefinitely & never paying his share of any bills."

"Anybody want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's cheesy."