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Joke of the Day

"What is the bird synonymous with abstinence The Swallow"

"Why did the blond get fired from the boomerang factory? She threw away all the bent ones. Why did she get re-hired? They all came back."

"In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30."

"THIS IS THE COPS. WE KNOW YOU HAVE NWA'S ""FU*CK THE POLICE"" ON REPEAT IN THERE. COME OUT & SAY SORRY TO OFFICER DAVIS. YOU MADE HIM CRY DUDE"

"Didn't sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done."

"It's two in the morning. Do you know where your blankets are?"

"PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."

"Didja hear that Israel's Chief Rabbi has told Israeli LGBT's that they will no longer be allowed to speak Hebrew ... wait for it ... Yeah - they're gonna have to speak Shebru instead ..."

"What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes? Inzest"

"Neighbor: It's July, you need to take down the xmas lights. Me: It's no worse than your stupid yard gnome. Neighbor: That's my wife."