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Joke of the Day

"Didn't sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done."

"[interrupts pastor] but jesus was crucified today shouldn't we call today ""Bad Friday"" or even ""Kinda Messed Up They Killed Jesus Friday"""

"How are Bungee jumping and visiting a prostitute a like? If the rubber breaks, you're dead."

"You know you're drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seat-belt on"

"Don't make fun of Terry If he kills you, you would die of dissin' Terry"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a whore?` None. They both fuck people for a living."

"There was a sailor on a ship that was discovered to be gay. When the others found out they tossed him off."

"I had a friend from Ukraine. Now he's from Russia."

"How many senior medical consultants does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. He holds up the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"Why couldn't the boarder throw out his collection of potted ferns? They were his best fronds."