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Joke of the Day
"dad, why does my cake say ""we dont want a talking cake"" ""its a long story son"""
Next Joke
"My ex just followed me on Twitter. That said: ""Say hello to Hitler for me, Mary."" *BLOCKED*"
"I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?"
"If only there were mosquito nets in Africa... We could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."
"[crime show] DETECTIVE: It looks like the guy that inserts dramatic music into our show has been.. *Flintstones theme song plays* Murdered"
"Why is your bio written in English but your tweets written in spaghetti?"
"I hate Russian Dolls They're so full of themselves."
"What's a pirate's favorite firework? M80"
"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health..."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. -Jackie Mason"
"I never understood how you got dick from Richard. Apparently you just get him drunk first."