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Joke of the Day

"ran outta bowls so i filled the cups of a bra with peanuts on one side, chips on the other then carried it to the couch. im 26, available"

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave."

"What did the Elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe out of that little thing?"

"If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who. If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom."

"I can't remember this joke. This joke had a sadist, masochis, murderer, rapist, and some other guys all talking about what they were going to do to a cat. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?"

"what's about 5 inches long and hasn't been inside another man in almost 2 weeks? Cory Monteith's heroin syringe"

"""The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."" - The worst surgeon in the world"

"Just had a kale and quinoa salad and now my name is Autumn and I braid my hair and drive a Subaru."

"Who is the biggest gangster in the sea ? Al Caprawn !"