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Joke of the Day

"Knock-knock. (""Who's there?"") Control freak. Now say ""Control freak who?"""

"My truck handles great... the amount of G's it can pull in a corner is only limited by the amount of rope."

"Why did the mushroom get invited to a party? because he was a fungi"

"My goldfish died. The good news is I'm inheriting a tiny treasure chest."

"Her: i'm in the mood Me: me too Her: wanna do it Me: oh yeah baby [we drive to Home Depot to look at paint]"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, on a sunny day their light comes from the glass ceiling. edit; missing words"

"I had a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal for the first time in a long time last weekend. The roof of my mouth should be healed in a few days."

"If you're French in the bedroom, and Italian in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European!"

"The man who worte the Hokey Pokey died. They had a hard time placing him in the coffin. They put his left leg in, but as soon as they started trying to put the right leg in they had problems."

"Guys, I know Charlie Sheen isn't winning right now. But at least he's positive."