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Joke of the Day

"The year 4542, artifacts are discovered from our once flourishing civilization. ""Looks like they worshiped apples."" said one archeologist."

"In general, girls don't like to be described as ""beefy"". Even if you love beef."

"My sex life ."

"I told my girlfriend her bond villain nickname is Winter Snow... Because she is so flakey I then called her Nigerian Prince for not delivering on her promises. True story"

"What do you get when you combine a dill pickle and a doughnut? a dildo"

"What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks? A two-weeker"

"The reality is that a lot of girls out there just aren't prepared for a nice, decent guy."

"What's a skydiver's favorite spice? Ground cumin! As long as they aren't running out of thyme."

"*scrawls note on deserted isle* TRAPPED ON ISLAND! HELP ME! *sends off in bottle* *it returns, months later, with reply* NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS?"

"Why did the computer overheat? Because windows wasn't open."