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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks? A two-weeker"
Next Joke
"Him: Let's get you out of that dress. Me: Be careful Him: Why? Me: If you tug at my Spanx hard enough, I'll pop open like a can of biscuits."
"Why was the little ink blot so unhappy? Because his mother was in the pen, and they didn't know how long the sentence would be."
"a single strawberry can make a hundred more strawberries, i swear nature is just another word for magic, a way to turn sunlight into sugar"
"I asked a terrorist how his day was going... He said it was great, his son died in a car bombing. The only problem? His son borrowed his car."
"If I opened a strip club I would have the girls wear BBQ scented perfumes. So when guys came home they could say they were at a Steak House."
"Your skin looks great do you use concealer? I dab."
"How do you stop a metal from rusting? Use some antioxidants"
"What does Garry Newman want to be when he grows up? Garry Oldman."
"What's the smartest animal on the farm? The farmer (this killed my 12yo brothers)"