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Joke of the Day

"they once said an apple a day keeps the doctors away... But todays world all doctors are muslim, so i find bacon works better!"

"Sorry I put black eyeliner on your baby, but honestly, look at how edgy it is now."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap her!"

"Husband-Y r there torn condoms lying on sofa? Wife-What? Where? Wife goes 2 find them & comes back angrily saying-Will you stop calling our children ""Torn condoms""?"

"Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no."

"Rock, paper, scissors? -The proctologist removing items from me"

"I'll bring a knife to a knife fight because I have common sense. Idiots."

"Facebook: Making relationship's look better then they actually are since 2005"

"Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !"

"What's worse than a lobster on your piano? What's worse than a lobster in your piano? A CRAB on your organ."