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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than a lobster on your piano? What's worse than a lobster in your piano? A CRAB on your organ."

"What's worse than an adult? An adult Hitler."

"I wear a stethoscope, so that in the case of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on? The barber ran"

"Why was epsilon afraid of zeta? Because zeta ate a theta"

"I served 2 years in Iraq Until they shut down the restaurant"

"Have you heard about Beyonce's new perfume line, Beyotch?"

"What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop? Feces-tious"

"I once new a guy that worked at a tool and die company... ...He was hit with a tool, and died"

"[Couples counseling] ""It's not good to keep these things bottles up, you know"" Okay, fine *opens jar of wasps*"