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Joke of the Day

"If you don't want to be there today, just say ""I'm just here for the food and hopefully some good commercials. Also congrats on the wedding"""

"You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets."

"What does a catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common.....They both came in a little behind"

"How does a man see things from woman's point of view? By looking out the kitchen window."

"These ebola jokes are terrible! They're making my eyes bleed"

"Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!"

"Why did 10 die? 10 was in the middle of 9/11"

"Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week."

"Wanna feel old? Helium formed for the first time 13.8 billions years ago."

"What's a Jewish Person's Favorite Time of Year? The Challah-Days"