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Joke of the Day

"What does a catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common.....They both came in a little behind"

"Some guy in a in a wheelchair stole my camo jacket He can hide but he can't run."

"I hope my search for my lost heroin... isn't in vein."

"My dog is attacking a tree. ""Bark, bark, bark , bark."""

"That awkward moment... ...when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring...and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod."

"Here's what I'd like for my birthday: Everyone in the world, chewing with their mouths closed for the remainder of my life."

"Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan."

"Why are pirates so bad at telling jokes? Instead of 'knock knock', they say, 'Arrr you there?!'"

"My wife asked me what I was doing today... ...I said ""nothing."" She said, ""You did that yesterday."" I replied, ""I wasn't finished."""

"What do you call a bunch of phones having sex? A 4G."