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Joke of the Day

"Let's play hide and sex. I mean seek. Damn it. Seek. Unless you're okay with hide and sex. I'll meet you in the hall closet in one minute."

"I'd tell you a cow joke... But it would be UTTERly horrible."

"Someone literally said this in class Teacher: ""Half the world is a cess pool"" Student: ""The middle east isn't half the world"""

"An astronomer looks at the sky through a telescope, searching for something. After a while he stands up, looks to the heavens, and yells, ""You cannot be Sirius!"""

"""we can put a man on the moon but ___________"" (insert issue that is vastly different)"

"Technically everyone who's not a doctor is premed"

"How did George W Bush use reggae to win his election? He needed an Al Gore riddim."

"""Son, if you keep masturbating like that you're going to go blind!"" Dad, I'm over here."

"In my life Ive spent 90% of my money on drugs, drinking and women. The other 10% I wasted."

"I got fired from my job as a bingo caller... apparently ""A meal for two with a terrible view"" was a pathetic way to announce the number 69."