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Joke of the Day

"""Son, if you keep masturbating like that you're going to go blind!"" Dad, I'm over here."

"The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work."

"chicken. knock knock Why did the chicken cross the road? (To get to the idiots house.) *knock knock* ""Who's there?"" The chicken...."

"What is the best celebration to have in a French Toilet? A biday party!!"

"Why do Scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat"

"What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair? Barberians."

"I'm not exactly sure who Pavlov is... But the name does ring a bell."

"How do you starve a black person? Hide their welfare check under their work boots."

"What did they call Dracula when he won the league? The champire!"

"If Earth was a rented apartment, ain't NOOOO WAAAAAY we're getting our security deposit back."